Furious pace

I did not complete a single painting this weekend.  It's the first time that has happened in six months and the first time that it felt like I gave myself a weekend.  I feel a little unproductive this morning.

The truth of it is something quite different.  I was working in and around my studio both days,  sketching out a large commission, building boxes, refreshing my feature wall, and packaging up all the pieces that were won in the DADS and GRADS online art auction that came to an end on Friday night and passing them along to the many people who were able to stop by over the past two days.

While I didn't complete a new painting on Saturday or Sunday, I did a lot of work, and even found time to do stuff for myself.  I felt like getting some new reading material, so Heather and I walked to the bookstore and bought some summer reading.  I was thirsty for a beer, so I had a beer.  I felt like having company over, so I invited my sister and her family over.  It felt good.

It highlights for me the furious pace I've been going at for a long time.  I'm not sure why I push myself so hard.  Perhaps because I'm self-employed, I feel a certain responsibility to produce and provide?  Perhaps I've lucked out and get to do something that I truly love doing to 7 to 9 hours a day.  I think it's all of that, plus an internal drive that is completely inexplicable.  I don't like slowing down for too long.  Two days of what felt like rest and relaxation are enough for me.  I'm ready to get back at it this morning.